Many times when we are dealing with an emotional or physical issue, we are sometimes faced with comments and suggestions from well meaning individuals who simply don't understand the complexity of what we are dealing with. From their perspective it seems like it should be relatively simple for us to get beyond the issue and get on with life with as usual. However, from your perspective, it is an entirely different story. Well intentioned or not, their comments and suggestions may frustrate you, leave you feeling angry, sad, feeling guilty - possibly intensifying the issue(s) you are dealing with. Give yourself permission to acknowledge those feelings instead of denying or ignoring them - knowing you have every right to feel the way you do. When you have allowed yourself the chance to be in touch with those feelings and you believe you are ready, begin to work through them. Take a few deep breaths and give the following a try, altering the word "anger" to frustration or the most intense emotion you are experiencing. Do the same with the other phrases, trusting what comes to mind.
Even though no one understands, and it makes me so angry I could scream! I am choosing peace anyway.
Even though they don't have a CLUE how this feels to me, and they don't seem to care, I am breathing easy, trying to forgive them.
Even though I can't stand hearing that phrase, it only makes me feel worse, I am honoring myself and what I am going through anyway.
I know I am dealing with this in the best way that I can. I give myself permission to trust myself and take this at my own pace..
Through the Sequence (twice):
TH: They don't get it and they probably never will!
EB: That's not my challenge, it is theirs!
OE: This is my situation and I am the only one who understands it!
UE: How could they get it? They've never been through this...
UN: I am really angry and frustrated. How dare they say such a thing!
UL: Nobody gets it but me, and how could they?
CB: Why can't they be more understanding?
UA: Nobody gets it and it really hurts.
When you feel you’ve relieved enough of the emotion and uncomfortable feelings attached, go to the positives, and go the positives. Again, substitute your own words, the words that match the way you’d rather begin to come through to you for positive reinforcement – things that best serve and suit the way you’d like to feel:
TH: I am feeling my confidence rise.
EB: I am taking it at my own pace, improving in every moment.
OE: They will probably never get, and how could I expect them to?
UE: They haven't had my life experiences or walked in my shoes.
UN: I know I am on the right track, dealing with the best way I can.
UL: It would be nice to have their support, but they just don't get it.
CB: Focusing on me, breathing easy.
UA: Knowing I am improving in every moment.
TH: They don't understand, but I am doing better anyway
EB: Feeling stronger and more confident
OE: Letting go of the anger and frustration
UE: Breathing easy
UN: Dealing with it one step at a time
UL: Knowing I am on the right track for me
CB: Moving through this in the right way for me
UA: Filled with calm confidence and peace of mind
Remind yourself to be kind and gentle with yourself, to the best of your ability in the moment, no matter what.
If you have questions or I can be of assistance, feel free to email me or call.